My goodbye to you

A man who I considered a friend is no longer on this earth. He died last night after a short but brave battle with cancer. He is the very first person I knew who was my age to die. Strange.

In his wake, he leaves behind many people who love him. People who will always love him and mourn him for a very long time. Ross Robertson is not a person who you quickly forget.

I remember the first time I met him, a young handsome man with a devilish smile and a wicked sense of humour. He fell in love and married my best friend and I was lucky to know him for a time. He raised my friends daughter, my beautiful god daughter, like she was his own. He loved her fiercely and completely, regardless of DNA. She felt the same way. My heart aches for her and her pain today.

He was self taught musically and could play any song on any instrument just by ear. He made up funny songs that made you laugh and leave you waiting for the next lyrical jingle he would create. He loved his family and friends. He loved to spend time in the garage ‘tinkering’ with his sleds. Marc spent hours in there with him when we visited, we knew there wasn’t a lot of tinkering going on, just beer drinking and laughing, but I know Marc is happy to have those memories of a man he considered his friend.

Sadly, their marriage ended about 2 years ago. It ended as amicably as it could have and with respect for one another but, as often with failed marriages, you leave with the person who was your friend prior to that relationship. I haven’t seen or spoken to Ross in that time. Not because I wanted the friendship to end, but because it was just awkward and strange for us to continue it. Neither of us knew how to maintain a friendship with so much baggage, so we let it go. Now, I am wishing I had just one moment back to tell him what a wonderful person he was. How amazing I think he is for taking in that little girl 16 years ago and loving her the way he did. Regardless of his faults, which we all have as human beings, I am grateful to him for the laughter and friendship we had. I am grateful for the memories of the weekends spent at his camp around the campfire. He always welcomed us with a drink and a smile. We never felt unwanted or uninvited in his home. There was always room. I am grateful to him for letting me be such a big part of his wedding day. It was beautiful and we danced under the stars that night. Regardless of how it all ended it started with nothing but love.

This is my goodbye and although you may never know it, I wish I had reached out to you 2 years ago to let you know I still thought of you as a friend. Life is full of regrets, this is one of mine.

May they have beer and guitars in heaven and may you always know peace.

Happy birthday baby girl

2 years ago today on a sunny spring morning my little girl entered this world and it has irrevocably changed my life.

I watched a glorious sun rise on that morning from the back of the ambulance and I thought how perfect, a brand new baby on a brand new day. When I finally held her she had me spellbound. 9 pounds of pure magic with blue eyes.

Behind those blue eyes is the sweetest, sassiest, funniest 2 year old I know. She radiates with beauty, and although I know beauty comes from the heart, every time I look at her face, spattered with the tiniest freckles, I am in awe of how I could take part in the creation of something so stunning.



2 years ago today our family of 3 became a family of 4. She is a joy, a blessing and loved more than she could ever know.

Now, let’s eat cake!!