'Tis the season

I love Christmas. I love everything about it. The snow. The lights. The decorations. The music. The parties. The food. The 'pop over' visits. The time spent with friends. Family. Oh, how I love this time of the year.

I have not had much time to blog because I am preparing for this holiday. My daughter is too young to understand and is oblivious to the time of year but is, unfortunately, very aware of new teeth coming in, hence the reason I am so out of sorts lately.

If she takes after her mom she will love Christmas too. As I look ahead I envision tickets to The Nutcracker, my little girl in a ballerina dress and I imagine the look on her face when the dancers take to the stage. I have never seen The Nutcracer and I can't wait to share it with Marissa. It will be magical. Thank goodness I had a girl. Aiden would look pretty funny in a ballerina dress.

My son already has a passion for Christmas. Not only because of Santa but he loves the lights, the parties and the music as well. His favourite song right now is I'm Getting Nuttin' For Christmas by Rosie O'Donel and Smashmouth. He can't get enough, much to Marc's chagrin.

But we can never forget what is so special about this time of year that makes our hearts glow...the giving. I am trying to instill this in my children and not only make them appreciate all they have but to think of others as well.

A few weeks ago Aiden and I went shopping for Toy Mountain for the Orleans Festival Of Lights. As we chose a toy we talked about all the less fortunate, not just here in the city but in other places all over the world. He was so interested and empathetic about it he wanted to do something for the little kids that we talked about. So when we got home we went to the shop Unicef website and he carefully selected his gifts of toys, a mosquito net and 800 pencils for an entire school.

He was so happy. I told him it was what Christmas is all about, to give something and get nothing in return. He said " That's ok, mommy because I felt sad when you told me about those kids but now I feel happy". Get nothing in return? Let me re-think that.

Want to make your heart glow? Visit the Unicef site and shop,shop, shop!

Merry Christmas.

xo

Observations in a mall and wishes for friends

Good friends of ours are soon expecting their first born. A girl. A cute, cuddly, all dressed in pink little girl. Lucky them. Lucky baby. They are going to be fantastic parents and they don't even know it. They are both so great individually and as a couple. She is beautiful inside and out with a fiery Chilean spirit that takes no crap. She has a wicked sense of humour that can make you laugh until there are tears. He is a funny, kind and extremely hard working man who loves his wife, family and friends. Yes, they will be fantastic parents, so lucky baby indeed. We can't wait to meet her.

Recently while at the mall playground that Aiden wanted to visit while doing some shopping, I had the opportunity to sit back and observe some parenting styles of strangers. With a yummy Latte and a sleeping baby in hand I saw some sweet and some not so sweet things.

I witnessed a very angry grandmother completely over react with her young grandson when he went down the play structure the 'wrong way'. Please note there are no directional signs and kids were running up and down this thing the entire time I was there. But apparently this little boy ran down instead of up and it made granny very mad. He was grabbed by the hand and yelled at...no..screamed at for doing so. This young lad was instantly deflated. Shoulders slumped and red faced but totally compliant when being dragged away and given a time out. I should mention he was literally shoved into the chair with her finger right in his face while being punished for his 'crime'. My heart went out to him as I am sure others felt too. I saw a young woman say something to her that went ignored. She was probably telling her that it was fine to come down the play structure. I hope she also told her to chill out and speak kinder to this little boy who's playful spirit she was crushing .

I saw a young couple play with their 2 little girls, following them around patiently and lovingly. They helped their teetering toddler keep up with her older sister. It was nice to watch.

I saw a dad refuse to pick up his little boy when he toppled down the slide, landing on his head. His little arms went up to be consoled and his father refused. He clung to his dads leg who peeled him off and walked away, leaving him to cry. Not sure what hurt the little boy more, the fall or the rejection.

I saw a young mother...too young in my opinion (although that matters little)...text on her Blackberry the whole time I was there. I watched her several times as a little boy ran over excitedly to her to tell her something. Each time he was patted on the head and sent off to play again. She didn't stop to watch her boy once that I saw. Perhaps when this little boy becomes a man she will long to have these moments back again?

I saw grandparents with a newly walking little girl who didn't let her within a foot of them at any given time. She was exploring on her own and had no idea how safe she was under the watchful eye of these 2 nicely dressed people. I am sure they would have rather died than let anything happen to her. My kids are very lucky to have 6...yes that's SIX people in their lives who love them like this. Not only 2 sets of grandparents but 2 loving great aunts. Six beautiful shining stars.

Latte empty and hungry baby on the verge of waking it was time to go. My observation time had come to it's end. Yes, there are many parents who are doing exactly what I am doing. Walking blind most days when it comes to raising kids but I am sure it is all done with the best of intentions and love.

So, to our friends who are about to embark on the craziest and best adventure of their lives. You will be the best of the best. We wish you nothing but beautiful shining stars for you and your little girl.

Lest We Forget

Canadian Tomb of the Unknown Soldier - Ottawa,ON

I do not know the fear that must have been overwhelming at times. I do not know the horror that your eyes saw. I do not know the hunger and cold that chilled you to the bone. I do not know the grief you felt at losing your comrades and friends. I do not know the sadness you felt when you received letters and pictures of those you loved, missing them so. I do not know the loneliness that resonated to your very core.

I do know that my freedom did not come free, that a huge price was paid for it. I do know that your courage, bravery and willingness to fight gave me my freedom and my children their freedom. I do know that I live in the greatest country in the world and my right to live, pray, vote, and choose was given to me because of your dedication and sacrifice. I know that my children will know and that we will never forget.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Halloween

The decorations







Aiden had trouble deciding on a costume

70's rock star?


Nope.

Beer keg?



Nope.

The black Spiderman?



PERFECT!

The real 70's rock star


The Hippie and her flower child


The evening ended with a glass of red outside with some fantastic neighbours. Thanks to the GREAT great aunts who came over and enjoyed the evening with us. Can't wait 'til next year!

I'm going to drive this car-car off the cliff-cliff!!

What makes people snap? Well, I got one for ya'. While waiting in line to pay for my merchandise the following dialogue between a mom and her grumpy little boy almost sent me over the edge.

Boy: Me wanna go in car-car
Woman: Just be patient a little while longer and we will go in the car-car.
Boy: NO me wanna go in car-car NOW!
Woman: I know but before we go in the car-car mommy has to pay for her things.

Pause

Boy: Wah...mommy me wanna go in car-car
Woman: We are going to go to in the car-car in a moment
Boy: Me want car-car
Women: Yes, honey I know you want to go in the car-car but car-car has to wait for a minute.
Boy: No me want car-car....wah...car-car
Women: Mommy knows you love the car-car and we are going to the car-car just as soon as mommy is done here.
Boy: car-car....car-car
Mommy: We will go to the car-car soon.

Pause

Boy: car-car.....car-car....car-car...
Mom: Do you love our red car-car or our black car-car more?
Boy: Red car-car....car-car..car-car
Mom: Maybe daddy will take you in the red car-car when we get home
Boy: Wah...Car-car..car-car
Woman: Ok, only 2 more people ahead of us and we will go to the car-car

Pause

Boy: Wah...car-car
Mom: We are going to the car-car soon.

Me: (internal dialogue) OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE LADY!! HOW MANY MORE FUCKING TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO REPEAT CAR-CAR?? YOU ARE DRIVING ME AND ALL THAT CAN HEAR UP THE WALL...LOOK MY GODDAMN EYE IS STARTING TO TWITCH!YOU'VE TRAINED HIM TO DO THIS HAVEN'T YOU. IT'S A PLOT TO GET YOU TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE. (Real dialogue) Would you like to go ahead of me?

Mom: Why thank you, that would be great.

Woman in front of me: Here, why don't you go in front of me too so he doesn't have to wait.

Mom: That is so kind. Thank you.

The car-car conversation takes place over and over until she pays and they leave the store.

Woman in front of me: Thank god...I was about to shove this cucumber up her ass-ass.

Touché

The sweeter side of life

A walk under a canopy of red and gold....




Flowers for no reason...





Daddy love...




Sleep....





Mommy love...




Superheros and laughter...





Unconditional love...

Misunderstood like the wind

I think Starbucks is a very pretentious place and their coffee and food are overpriced. However, they do have extremely delicious lattes that I indulge in when I get the urge. Because I don't frequent this establishment often I am not very efficient using their latte lingo when ordering. I'm a simple girl so when I order it I ask for a medium size. Most employees just get me my latte. Yesterday it was a bit of a challenge.

Me: Can I have a medium Chai Tea Latte please

Barista: You mean Grande?

Me: Is that your medium size?

Barista: No....it's our grande.

Me: Grande as in large?

Barista: Noooo, grande as in grande

Me: OK....well if that's your size between small and large I will take that one.

Barista: Umm....I'm not sure. Let me go ask.

Guy behind me with a loud clucking noise: Yes, the Grande is the same as a medium.

Barista: OK, that's good to know.

I get my latte and slink out of there while pissed off regulars look at me and are probably wondering how I get by on a day to day basis without knowing that Starbucks grande is in fact a medium. SERIOUSLY??!! Shove it up your arse Barista girl!!!....You know its a medium so just give me a GODDAMN MEDIUM!!!! I would like to say I will never go back but I know I will...damn their delicious lattes!

On a much funnier note...here is a very clever video of an interview with the wind. Love it!

In a different life it could have been you

When I logged on to one of my favourite blogs, Indigo Blue, today and read what she had posted I had to follow suit. She follows many blogs and one of them is Maryam's My Marrakesh. Maryam is a democracy specialist who is currently in Rwanda, interviewing widows getting their stories of the genocide. I cried as I read them. You cannot imagine the horror that some of these people faced and survived but are left emotionally and physically traumatized.

Visit Maryam's blog to read the stories, and to contribute to a PayPal account on Maryam's blog that is being set up to collect funds for the organization that is helping the widows and orphans...if you would like to help.

I don't deserve my kids

That is what I thought as I watched Aiden running towards me when I picked him up from school. Cheeks red from playing with his familiar grin on his face. He was very excited to tell me about his latest bug discovery. I had heard all about the blood sucker and the biting 'angry' ants a few days ago. This day he had discovered the Snapper.

"What's a Snapper" I asked
"Well, it's a scary looking bug that opens it's mouth really big and snaps you" he said while demonstrating the actions.

I laughed, mostly because my nick name used to be Big Red Snapper. It takes on a whole new meaning for me now.

I watched a very sad Oprah yesterday about a mom who made a huge mistake that ultimately left her in this world without her baby. I was holding Marissa and thanked god for the health of my kids. And thought how lucky are we to have these 2 beautiful beings in our lives. How lucky are we to have glimpses of heaven every day. Here is a sample of this weeks glimpses.

1. I woke up every morning (a blessing in itself) to the sweetest smile from my daughter. A smile that she reserves just for me.
2. Made Marissa laugh out loud with belly zurberts and tickles.
3. Cuddled with Aiden at bedtime and told him stories of when he was 'little'. We both almost fell out of bed we laughed so hard. I went to sleep that night with my heart singing.
4. Took part in a 'sandwich' hug initiated by my favourite little guy.
5. Read a book to them. Holding one in each arm. I didn't want to let them go even when my arms were numb. Breathing in their sweet smell and imprinting it into my memory.
6. Went for a walk in the hood and watched Marc and Aiden race. Marc was excited when he won and eager to try again when he didn't.
7. Felt my heart swell with pride when Aiden told the truth about something he had lied about. The 5 year old fear of disappointment and punishment clear on his face. He did the right thing anyway knowing the risks.
8. Held my little girl in my arms and soothed her when her cold and stuffed up nose was too much for her. The way she looked and smiled at me let me know she was happiest right where she was.
9. Watched Aiden entertain his sister with just a sweatshirt. She is his biggest fan and he revels in his ability to make her laugh like no one else can.
10. Watch my son at swimming lessons beaming with pride when he accomplished the front crawl. Then turn to us with 2 thumbs up and a "did you see me?" I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world than right there, in that moment.
11. Later at a celebratory pizza dinner he tells us that he loves his sister the most in the world. I hope that love is always there, especially when we are gone.

I try and take a snapshot of our life each day and engrave it into my heart. I am so conscious of the limited time I have with them before they grow up and friends inevitably take over their lives as they gain more independence away from us.

I love being a mom. My children give me the greatest joy I have ever known. They are my heart, my life. I often wonder how I am going to inevitably screw them up.

These 2 creatures that came screaming into my life are just too good for me. But I thank god for giving them to me anyway.

Sunday thoughts

One of the most intensely horrifying and haunting books I have ever read is coming to the big screen. The Road by Cormac McCarthy left me feeling such desperation and loneliness that there were times I wished I hadn't started reading it. And yet I could not put it down. I don't know how I feel watching it come to life in a movie and only hope Hollywood does not screw this one up. Not even sure I would recommend it to anyone...I found the book that disturbing.

I have also discovered a scent of body lotions and creams from Bath and Body Works that is divine....called Japanese Cherry Blossom. Delish! I could eat it out of the jar it smells that good!

We tried to set up my beautiful single friend last night to a very nice handsome single neighbour. The evening was fun but the connection, sadly, did not happen. She's just too friggin' picky! She's a lot of fun though and after many rum and coke concoctions she mixed I find myself a little hung this morning.

I am more interested in what's happening politically south of the border than I am here in Canada. I don't even know the platforms of all the candidates. I will eventually get around to reading about it so I can make an informed decision on October 14, just not today. I would rather not think too much at the moment.

I love Tim Hortons coffee, my family and friends and lazy, rainy Sundays.

Running can be fun

I love running. I love everything about it. I love the steady rhythm of my feet hitting the pavement. I love to feel my heart pounding in my chest. I love the feeling of the sun on my skin and the great feeling of knowing I am doing something good for myself and my health. I love it so much I will run in the pouring rain.

You have a connection with other runners too. Always smiling at each as other as you pass on the road. I usually enjoy this silent bond we share until this morning. I went for a long run and about 20 minutes into it I saw another runner coming towards me. He was a very fit looking man in his 40's. I started to smile and wish him a good morning when he suddenly covered one nostril with a finger and blew snot out of the other. My almost smile turned into a completely horrified look as I tried to control the urge to vomit. He smiled and nodded his head as he passed. I quietly mumbled "Ummmm, sir......I think you dropped something." I am now wondering if this is some sort of runner ritual, like blood brothers. Except instead of swearing on blood you swear on mucous. Well, count me OUT!

I stopped for some water on the corner when a lady and her dog approached asking to see the baby (the lady asked not the dog). As we were chatting I suddenly noticed that her dog had started to lick Marissa's face. The lady made no move to stop her dog so I quickly pulled the stroller out of reach and gently pushed the dog away with my foot and said no to him. The lady gave me a look that clearly showed she was confused and not happy with my reaction. "Don't worry, he's friendly" she said. It wasn't that I was worried he'd bite her, it was the fact that HER DOG WAS LICKING MY BABY'S FACE!!! Dogs eat shit, vomit and dead things and then for good measure lick their own ass. Need I explain more? It got a little awkward after this and I was just about to run off when her dog jumped up on me. I started to pet him when his nose suddenly drifted towards my crotch. I gently pushed him down and with a laugh I told him no and said "Hey, I barely know you".

" Like I said, don't worry, he's very friendly" the owner said with a coolness in her voice that let me immediately know I had insulted her. So what started off as pleasant conversation quickly tuned into one that held some animosity. I wished her a good morning, which she chose to ignore, and I jogged out of there shaking my head.

Upon reflection I should have told her "You know, I'm pretty friendly. Can I lick your face and sniff your crotch too?" Or perhaps I should have showed her the snot blowing thing I had seen a few minutes before. Maybe it would have bonded us somehow. Funniest thing about this is that the lady had a retractable leash on her dog....she should really learn how to use it.

I love running. I love that it gave me something to blog about today.

Vacation part deux

ok...here we go..Most of these photos were not taken this time around but were the best shots to get the feel of it.

Brigus South. This is where my nanny grew up and is not to be confused with the Brigus in my previous post. In the 60's the town was renamed Hillsdale to distinguish between the two but when local residents refused to acknowledge the new name it was officially changed back.

This place has one of my favourite views of the Atlantic but very scary cliffs. I remember the first time we brought Aiden here I was terrified he would fall off and ordered Marc not to let go of his hand. It is stunning though.

Ferryland. This is also one of my favourite spots with more breathtaking scenery. This small town has a rich history with new facts being discovered every year by the archaeological dig that is set up here. We only managed to go to the dinner theatre here this time around so these pics were taken the last trip. It was a perfect day with the sun making diamonds on the water.

There is a short hike up to an old working lighthouse. We sat in silence for almost an hour and watched whales frolicking on the coastline. It was one of those 'Thank god I'm alive moments".
Cape Spear. The most eastern point in North America (although Alaska and Greenland dispute this). The waves that come crashing in here have been known to carry a man to sea so don't stand too close!

The lighthouse here is the oldest surviving one in Newfoundland and Labrador.

So there you have it. What I have shared with you is only a small part of our many trips home and a teeny tiny fraction of what is to see and enjoy there. Pictures do not do it justice. I am so deeply in love with this island and so very proud to have roots here. To all my readers, go east my friends....GO EAST! You will never forget it and perhaps you too will miss it and yearn to go back as much we do.

What I did on my summer vacation

The people who are from the province of Newfoundland and Labrador know the pull this beautiful island has.The scenery, the ocean and the people make it a place one does not forget soon. For me and my family it is in the blood. With each trip we yearn more for it and for the family that we leave behind.

The small town of Brigus, famous for it's scenery and sea captains. A small cemetery overlooks a haunting view of the Atlantic. Marc says he wants to be buried here.

Cape Broyle, a small fishing town on the southern shore of the Avalon Peninsula that had a population of only 13 in 1696. A place where my grandparents were married, built a home and raised 5 children. I spent almost every weekend here as a child and a teenager and never appreciated the beauty or it's history until I returned as an adult. I remember going down to the wharf where my great uncles and my grandfather would come in from their catch. Their nets teaming with the days catch of cod or capelin.

My poppy showed me how to clean and gut a fish and taught me how to jig for sculpins off the same wharf. He is a kind, gentle man with the largest hands of anyone I've ever known. As a child his knee was where I climbed, begging him to tell me a story. He would never refuse and would have me in giggles every time. Now at 92 he is still a man that is happy to tell a story just to make you smile. My nanny's kitchen still smells like I remember. Every Sunday she would prepare a Jiggs Dinner for the entire family and we never left her house hungry. Homemade bread, raisin buns and tea and toast were served every time people came to the door, stranger or friend. She is famous for her cooking in Cape Broyle and no one ever left her house without eating at her table. At 88 she still takes such pride in her home and still makes sure you leave with a full belly.

St. John's the oldest and most easterly city in North America, this is where heritage lives. If you stand at the harbour you can close your eyes and imagine a time when it was brimming with fishing schooners. Visit Cabot Tower where military men guarded the shores in 1812, and Marconi made his first transmission across the Atlantic in 1901. From here you can look over the cliffs and watch the city’s Harbour and skyline spread out before you. We never did make the 90 minute hike from Battery Rd but it is on our list of the hundreds of things we have yet to do there.

Next post I will take you to Cape Spear, Ferryland and Brigus South (not to be confused with Brigus)

Lessons from a 5 year old

We are settled in nicely to the new digs and slowly emerging from the mountain of boxes, furniture and stuff that we have accumulated over many years. The house has lots of room and we are really liking our new neighbours. There is a little boy next to us the same age as Aiden and he speaks very little English and Aiden speaks very little French but yet they manage to play together for hours, both speaking in their first language, neither understanding the words but are communicating beautifully somehow. It is something to behold. These 2 young boys are amazing. They have NO IDEA what the other is saying but are becoming fast friends despite this barrier.

It amazes me that as adults if we could not verbally communicate the interaction we would have would be minimal at best. The language police here in the National Capital Region could learn a lesson or 2 from this, but I digress.

Speaking of friends...my 20 year high school reunion is being held in NF this Saturday and am so nervous to see all the old faces. I was trying on different outfits last night asking Marc his opinion with the same ol' questions "does this make my ass look fat? do I look pregnant in this? do my boobs look too big?" It appears that the insecurities I had as an 18 year old still exist. I was fretting in front of the mirror and feeling very stressed about my appearance when my beautiful boy (who I didn't think was paying much attention to what was being said) stops playing his video game, peeks over and says "you are the prettiest mommy EVER!" With a lot of emphasis on the "ever" part.

As a parent it is assumed that I do the teaching and guiding but it is being brought to my attention every day that we have a brilliant life teacher in our family. He's only 4 feet tall, has trouble wiping his own butt and pronouncing the word 'breakfast' but he's teaching us very well.

The outfit has been decided on and am ok with it. It doesn't matter, regardless of what I wear, the best accessory I will carry with me are photos of my 2 babies and as I show them to my old mates I will feel like the most beautiful mommy EVER!!!

Dropping babies and hot sauce

On Monday I took Marissa (aka Miss as Aiden calls her) for a walk in her stroller. Upon our return I was marveling at how happy and quiet she was and went to pick up her car seat (which is part of her stroller) and I instantly thought 'wow, this thing is light'. In a millisecond I realized why. My little 7 week old girl had tumbled out and landed face down on the hard wood floor. I scooped her up to quickly assess the damage that was done. She was screaming, I was crying, Aiden was completely unfazed and continued to take off his shoes and ask for something to eat.

I called TeleHealth and through my tears I managed to tell the nurse the situation. It was quickly determined she was fine, no marks, no blood, no bruising...PHEW. She was smiling and cooing softly before our conversation was over. Thank god that child is made of rubber.

I then proceeded to start dinner, opened the cupboard door and a full bottle of Franks Hot Sauce came hurtling out and smashed all over the floor. Now, for someone who has only ever had linoleum flooring having glass and ceramic meet in such a fashion was quite surprising. Because when I say smashed I mean this bottle was completely obliterated upon impact. I had glass and hot sauce the length of the main floor. I had a few choice words to yell as I felt my blood pressure rise and squeeze whatever area of my brain that controls the number of F bombs you drop when your children are present. It took 20 minutes and a full roll of paper towel to clean up. 2 days later I am still sweeping up small bits of glass.

Shortly after that our neighbour was outside with his little boy and Aiden wanted to go say hi. As he was running across the lawn he was yelling "mommy broke a bottle of red sauce and then said a bad word". I smiled, too tired to explain. Shut the door and then poured myself a glass of wine.

Life with a newborn baby girl

Crazy! That has been our lives in the past few months....there is no other way to describe it. New house, new baby, new job(s) for Marc and the incredibly sad passing of Marc's grandmother. There are days when I feel like a zombie and other days where I am insanely happy. Extreme highs and lows, this is what it must feel like to be manic.

Marissa is now 4 weeks old and we are slowly getting to know her. We are getting to know the positions she likes to be held in and trying to decipher her cries. She has one cry that is like nothing I have heard before. We have named it the "hissing dragon". It's when she has herself really worked up and has cried herself hoarse. It's the cry we will do anything to avoid hearing. When she is really hungry and has latched on to the bottle she makes noises like a goose. That noise always gets a giggle out of all of us. It's the oddest thing. She is a tough audience and I have a really hard time getting her to smile despite my best attempts, although inanimate objects such as a picture on a wall or an oak banister have no trouble eliciting a big toothless grin from her. She adores her big brother and turns her head in search of his gorgeous face when she hears his voice. He can entertain her like no one else can and he has made up a wonderful song called "Don't Just Cry" for her. Inspired by her seemingly constant wailing. We all sing it now hoping that the toon will soothe her.

Despite the lack of sleep, the crying, the constant bottle making, the tight schedule that I have that seems to revolve around her, a hundred diaper changes a day and having no free time for myself..she's beautiful and she's all mine. No, you can't have her.

Finally....

My beautiful little girl Marissa Caroline Plante has arrived. She was born on Sunday, May 18 at 10:30am and weighed in at a whopping 9lbs. Her birth was a truly wonderful experience. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Big brother Aiden is in love as is her daddy.